Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
