Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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