not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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