when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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