That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
