Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
