What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
