I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
