I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
