so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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