i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
