if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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