Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
