The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize