And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
