Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
