maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Found your dick twin last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
