So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
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I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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