If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
