Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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