oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
