do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
