Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
