yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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