So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
