Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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