And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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