I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
