okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
