can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
