This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
