just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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