if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
