We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
