Are we in a gay sports bar?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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