You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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