She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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