Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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