You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
