Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize