You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
