this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
