the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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