my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We talked him into tasing himself.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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