at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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