If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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