Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You smell like stripper and shame
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
