Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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