Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
