dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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