I think I am morally bankrupt
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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