You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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