Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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