If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
