i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
