so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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