You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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