A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
