get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
