so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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