he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
