just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
