i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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