Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
