My room smells like vodka and shame
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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